so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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