just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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