Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
