quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
