Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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