Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
