how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
