You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
