Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
