my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I need water and some morals
Randomize
