Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
