I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
