if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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