My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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