At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You took a bar mat shot.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
