How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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