I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
