Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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