It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
