So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
