Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
