thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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