please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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