I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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