The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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