ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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