you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
