She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
PANTIES FOUND
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
