So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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