I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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