You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
