Can i not drive my cunt home
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
PANTIES FOUND
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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