let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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