So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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