I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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