Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
