Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
