I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
