All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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