did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
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