I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize