I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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