It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
