I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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