I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I think I am morally bankrupt
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
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