if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
handjob tips. give me some.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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