I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
