she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
