Already got asked if we're dating
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
