haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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