i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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