Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
