do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
