Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
